it’s like cigarette cigarette, dick dick, food food, drink drink….– quoth ChelC (via tink)
(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm so pissed.
I tore my house apart last night to find my platinum edition DVD of The Lion King, to bring it in for the kids to watch today. Unfortunately, one of the children is deathly afraid of the movie…for WHATEVER reason. So, we’re watching the Little Mermaid, with sharks and Ursula and all that fucking jazz, and there’s no affect.
antepenult: ‘And hell yeah, i’m the fucking princess.’ yeah you are.
my cat was like…pawing at my plate with a slice of pizza on it, and she knocked it over, and it got dog hair all over it…so then I picked it up and threw it at her. and it hit her. At least my mom thought it was funny.
You’re rolling my eyes?
That’s mine…that’s mine…that’s...
eleanoir: Today I took a jar and marked it, “Apartment.” It has four cents in it. Elle. That was adorable…even though I bust out laughing when i read it.
It’s rainy and gross. I don’t want to take my kids to gym today I don’t want to take my kids ANYWHERE today.
Is a lying whore about saving money on car insurance. So far they’ve been the MOST expensive that I’ve looked at.
Lafayette has some of the best lines...
Lafayette: What did they say Arlene?
Arlene: They said...the burger might have...AIDS.
Lafayette: -goes out to the table- Excuse me. Who ordered the hamburger...with Aids.
Redneck: -laughs- I ordered the hamburger deluxe.
Lafayette: In this restraunt the hamburger deluxe comes with fren' fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo...and AIDS! Do anybody got a PROBLEM with that?
Redneck: Yeah. I'm an American. An' I got a say in who makes my food.
Lafayette: Baby, it's too late for that. Faggotts been breedin' yo' cows, raisin' yo chickens and even brewin' yo' beer, long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother fucker. Everything on yo got-damn table, got AIDS.
Redneck: You still ain't makin' me eat no goddamn AIDS burger.
Lafayette: All you gotta do is say 'Hol' the AIDS'. Here. -Licks bun- Now Eat It. -Shoves bun in redneck's face-
Lafayette then proceeds to kick some ass.
Lafayette: Bitch, you come in my house, you gon' eat the food the way I FUCKIN' MAKE IT! You understand me? -flips plate over onto Redneck- Tip yo' Waitress. -walks away-
I've come to the conclusion
That I need to perpetually carry around a notebook to write things down in because otherwise, I never remember the things I’m supposed to tumblr. when I get home. Case in point. Or is it Case and point? I don’t know. Chelsea. I think this speaks enough for the tumblarity for tonight. Now I’m going to go watch TrueBlood and go to sleep.
I don’t know, my penis scares me.– quoth Alex (via eleanoir)
halliedarling: i am sincerely disappointed by Ugly Betty’s season finale. SOMEONE ALWAYS DIES! POOR DANIEL!
I look like a fat dementor in a yamacha!– Matthew cerca Graduation.
I now own the first season of TrueBlood. I felt I deserved a pressent after dealing with Aliyah today all the time.
give it to my mother d-d-d-d-d-doggy style.
Things I Need To Do This Summer
antepenult: -go to Ocean City for at least a month (not all at once, but in total) -go back to Skyline Drive for about a week -spend a weekend at Cunningham Falls State Park. -have a picnic at Piney Run Lake -spend a day at Calvert Cliffs -Deep Creek? (state park cabins are cheaper) -visit Philly this list should grow exponentially.who’s down? Down. Think about your money sitch, tho
see more Funny Graphs
It's five of nine
And already Max has been locked, Marlon has shot a rubber band at a kindergartener’s face, Dineen has done several 180’s of bullshit (she’s painting my nails after lunch, and after taking her time for her bullshit yesterday afternoon). Donte has already bitten, or attempted to bite a small child. WTF @ My WorkPlace!
beginning of a list of stuff to do.
antepenult: Pay off Library Fine Pay Alex $40 Pay Lowery $15 Pay Katya $60 Pass Finals Make Money Get New Wheel Eventually
Oh Remy Etienne LeBeau
tink: you’ve stolen my heart once again YES!
June or shoes?!– Chelsea
I don’t know why people say open up your eyes. You don’t open up...– Brittnay
It’s sterile! People drank it when they had scurvy!– Chelsea
I tend to do just as much harm to myself as when I am awake. I smacked the hell out of my foot, trying to get the cat to be quiet, on the bookcase that’s at the foot of my bed… Guess that’ll teach me to keep a bookcase at the end of my bed.