June 2009
“it’s like cigarette cigarette, dick dick, food food, drink drink….”
– quoth ChelC (via tink)
Jun 1st
3 notes
May 2009
Ahahhahaha
(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
May 31st
I'm so pissed.
I tore my house apart last night to find my platinum edition DVD of The Lion King, to bring it in for the kids to watch today.  Unfortunately, one of the children is deathly afraid of the movie…for WHATEVER reason. So, we’re watching the Little Mermaid, with sharks and Ursula and all that fucking jazz, and there’s no affect. 
May 29th
1 note
antepenult: ‘And hell yeah, i’m the fucking princess.’ yeah you are.  
May 29th
bitch
my cat was like…pawing at my plate with a slice of pizza on it, and she knocked it over, and it got dog hair all over it…so then I picked it up and threw it at her. and it hit her. At least my mom thought it was funny.
May 27th
“You’re rolling my eyes?”
May 27th
“That’s mine…that’s mine…that’s...”
May 27th
May 27th
eleanoir: Today I took a jar and marked it, “Apartment.” It has four cents in it. Elle. That was adorable…even though I bust out laughing when i read it. 
May 26th
3 notes
:(
It’s rainy and gross. I don’t want to take my kids to gym today I don’t want to take my kids ANYWHERE today.
May 26th
May 25th
May 25th
2 notes
Geico
Is a lying whore about saving money on car insurance. So far they’ve been the MOST expensive that I’ve looked at.
May 24th
Lafayette has some of the best lines...
Lafayette: What did they say Arlene?
Arlene: They said...the burger might have...AIDS.
Lafayette: -goes out to the table- Excuse me. Who ordered the hamburger...with Aids.
Redneck: -laughs- I ordered the hamburger deluxe.
Lafayette: In this restraunt the hamburger deluxe comes with fren' fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo...and AIDS! Do anybody got a PROBLEM with that?
Redneck: Yeah. I'm an American. An' I got a say in who makes my food.
Lafayette: Baby, it's too late for that. Faggotts been breedin' yo' cows, raisin' yo chickens and even brewin' yo' beer, long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother fucker. Everything on yo got-damn table, got AIDS.
Redneck: You still ain't makin' me eat no goddamn AIDS burger.
Lafayette: All you gotta do is say 'Hol' the AIDS'. Here. -Licks bun- Now Eat It. -Shoves bun in redneck's face-
Lafayette then proceeds to kick some ass.
Lafayette: Bitch, you come in my house, you gon' eat the food the way I FUCKIN' MAKE IT! You understand me? -flips plate over onto Redneck- Tip yo' Waitress. -walks away-
May 24th
1 note
I've come to the conclusion
That I need to perpetually carry around a notebook to write things down in because otherwise, I never remember the things I’m supposed to tumblr. when I get home. Case in point. Or is it Case and point? I don’t know. Chelsea. I think this speaks enough for the tumblarity for tonight. Now I’m going to go watch TrueBlood and go to sleep.
May 23rd
“I don’t know, my penis scares me.”
– quoth Alex (via eleanoir)
May 23rd
halliedarling: i am sincerely disappointed by Ugly Betty’s season finale.  SOMEONE ALWAYS DIES! POOR DANIEL!
May 22nd
“I look like a fat dementor in a yamacha!”
– Matthew cerca Graduation.
May 22nd
4 notes
Yesss.
I now own the first season of TrueBlood. I felt I deserved a pressent after dealing with Aliyah today all the time.
May 19th
Listengive it to my mother d-d-d-d-d-doggy style.
May 15th
May 14th
Things I Need To Do This Summer
antepenult: -go to Ocean City for at least a month (not all at once, but in total) -go back to Skyline Drive for about a week -spend a weekend at Cunningham Falls State Park. -have a picnic at Piney Run Lake -spend a day at Calvert Cliffs -Deep Creek? (state park cabins are cheaper) -visit Philly this list should grow exponentially.who’s down? Down.  Think about your money sitch, tho
May 12th
see more Funny Graphs
May 10th
May 10th
689 notes
May 10th
It's five of nine
And already Max has been locked, Marlon has shot a rubber band at a kindergartener’s face, Dineen has done several 180’s of bullshit (she’s painting my nails after lunch, and after taking her time for her bullshit yesterday afternoon). Donte has already bitten, or attempted to bite a small child.  WTF @ My WorkPlace!
May 8th
beginning of a list of stuff to do.
antepenult: Pay off Library Fine Pay Alex $40 Pay Lowery $15 Pay Katya $60 Pass Finals Make Money Get New Wheel Eventually
May 5th
1 note
Oh Remy Etienne LeBeau
tink: you’ve stolen my heart once again  YES!
May 4th
Boo.
Mondays. 
May 4th
“June or shoes?!”
– Chelsea
May 3rd
2 notes
“I don’t know why people say open up your eyes. You don’t open up...”
– Brittnay
May 3rd
“It’s sterile! People drank it when they had scurvy!”
– Chelsea
May 3rd
3 notes
In sleep
I tend to do just as much harm to myself as when I am awake.  I smacked the hell out of my foot, trying to get the cat to be quiet, on the bookcase that’s at the foot of my bed… Guess that’ll teach me to keep a bookcase at the end of my bed. 
May 1st